Another "Mother of the Year" Title down the tubes!

So, I begin this post with rare, unsarcasticated (is that a word?) honesty; Brace yourself. I am not a good mother. I am not a good wife. Sometimes I am not even that great of a person. I am not saying this to garner sympathy. It turns out for me that being a wife and a mother is a very humbling and rocky experience drizzled with moments of warmth, affection and joy. It is those moments that keep me in the game. I realize that in most other aspects of my life, I tend to be a quitter. If I don't get it right the first time or don't win right away, I give up. Marriage and motherhood has been the exception to that. This is not something I can give up on, yet I repeat patterns of imperfection to point that right now I am just frustrated. I know where I go wrong. Most of the time, I even know it in the moment I choose do lose my temper or lash out at Doug, but I do it any way. It is hard to start fresh when you can't run away and start over with a new husband and kids. So, that's my serious, frustrating confession for today. Take it or leave it.

On to news of the kids. Today was hopefully a lesson learned for Walker. We had a babysitter for a couple of hours this afternoon and apparently he was physical with her (pushing and pretending to bite). These are things he does to me when he doesn't like what is going on. I assumed (yes, I know what that does) that he would know better when some one else was in charge of him. While I do not like that my child did this to our babysitter, I am glad it was a teachable moment for him. On this rare occasion, I did not lose my cool (totally) with him. Instead, I told him how disappointed and sad I was. Then, I gave the harshest punishment I could think of: (any guesses??) Yes, I took away Disney channel for two days. The boy SOBBED for a straight hour. Surprisingly, he did not lash out at me like I expected him to, he just cried and cried and cried. I am hoping this is because he realizes he was wrong. It got the point that he said in his defeated little voice: "Can we just stop talking about this, PLEASE!"

Lauren Grace (Warren Gace as she calls herself) is getting to be quite the feisty little one and chatty too!! She scraped her knee yesterday when Doug took them to the park. You would of thought she was just accepted to the elite toddlers club where you have to have at least one "big owie" as your initiation in. Well, she's in. She is still my little cuddle bug.

Brady boy. What a hoot he is!! He is walking from here to there and everywhere (thank you Dr. Seuss for that one!). He is quite proud of himself to. While the novelty has started to wear off a little, lucky for him Walker still makes a big deal of it when he is walking so he still beams when he is toddling around. That darn kid is on the tall side too, so things that were once safely out of reach on tables and counters are now fair game. The edges of my counters are nice and clean while the middle is piled high with stuff to keep away from Mr. Sticky-Fingers.

Well, you know what they say, while at work . . . . check you e-mail one more time! Just kidding, I should probably get back to work!!

Hope I didn't dash anyone's high moral standard for me!!

Always human, sometimes less so,

Pam

We're BAAACK!!

The first vacay as a family of five is complete (PHEW!). The only real bummer was that despite the over $400 we spent to get it fixed, our van still refused to provide us airconditioning. It was pretty hot to say the least. Luckily, the kids are young enough that they did not know that this was not normal. We spent most of our trip up in Estes Park at David's timeshare. It was very nice and the kids had fun swimming. Walker was a bit accident prone and cut himself of some glass as well as stubbing his toe. Lauren, in Lauren-style, took it all in in her own way. She spent most of her time trying out every "potty" she could. Brady boy did his thing as well. Best of all for him, he has really stepped-up the walking thing (yes, pun intended). He is getting around pretty well on two feet. This makes him my earliest walker at 11 months.

We also tried to get a photo of the three of them at Sears. Their personalities surely came out. Walker thought it was his own personal photo-shoot and the other two were just "extras". Lauren was pretty timid of the process. Brady was being quite the contrarian (do I get .50 cents for that one??). If they wanted him to walk, he crawled. If they wanted him to stand, he sat, you get the idea. OH WELL!! The ladies kept saying they were the best behaved kids they have ever tried to photograph. I always have a hard time taking compliments about my kids because I don't want it to go to their heads (or mine!!) and I never am sure if it is sincere. For being 3, 2 and almost 1, I guess they weren't as bad as they could have been.

We are re-adjusting back to life as we know it at home. They are certainly pushing buttons lately (that or I need to chill out, probably the latter). I am going to pray for more patience and get back to work!!

Adios!

Getting Ready For Denver

This has definately been a week!! We have been on count down status all week to Saturday (Denver Day). The kids, Walker especially, are VERY excited about our upcoming vacation. Doug got both Walker and Lauren a tote bag from the closet to pack what they wanted to take for the car, etc the other day. Walker packed his FULL, slung it over his shoulder, and filled the remaining space in his hands with a ball and a feather sword (you can't leave town without one!!). He donned his brand new Sponge Bob (which by the way I do a killer Patrick impression) flip flops that are too big for him (hey, who said clearance was perfect??) and said "I am ready to go to Denver now!!" It was so cute, we took a picture!! He has all of his stuff (which now consists of his pillow, blanket, swim trunks, life jacket and what have you) all by the basement door ready to go.

Lauren, what can I say about that girl? She is going through quite the phase lately. I don't know if it is hormones or genes (hee hee) but she has been waking up beyond crabby and spending most of the day crying and screaming in time out. This is not like her at all (isn't that what they always say, but really it is not). She is usually pretty even tempered and cuddly. Most of her fits center around me doing stuff for her or with her. No one else can fill in. I have to do it. Clearly, it does not matter to her that I have two other children and a few other personal needs, she must come first!! Doug is finding this frustrating as he tries to help and it only escalates her tantrum. Not sure what this is all about, but I hope she works through this quickly. As I tell her often, she is lucky she is cute!! Poor baby girl cried herself to sleep tonight in her room in time out.

Brady boy- He is sooooo cute!! Pretty soon, he won't be my baby anymore!! Anywho, he is kind of clingy lately too! I try to do dishes (I must reassign this task to my partner if this keeps up) and he stands holding my pant leg crying until I pick him up. Then he is happy as a clam (are clams really happy? Talk amongst yourselves). Putting him down is like handing him to the wolves with the way he carries on!! Other than that, he is sprouting teeth everywhere (this could be the culprit) and taking more steps everyday!!

Well, getting ready for Denver!!

See y'all!
Pam

Guess What?

Guess what's new????? Any guesses??? Well, it seems my Brady boy wants to be a big boy. He is officially taking steps on his own. He is so proud of himself (maybe because we cheer wildly when he does it!) It is hard to believe he was ever a "little" baby. He is so cute!! He laughs all the time with his half teeth. I love to watch him sleep. He HAS to cuddle his blanket.

He is also a very curious boy. It is hard for him to finish a bottle now because there is just so much more to do!!

Well, thought I would keep y'all (all two of you out there) in the know!!

Firecrappers

The fourth of July!! We had a pretty good day today. We went swimming at Dianne's pool. Walker swam his heart out with Kelsey (no surprise there). Lauren played cautiously in the baby pool, mostly on her own. Brady played and napped in the baby pool too. He is really starting to like the water and crawl around in it. He has even taken a couple of steps in the water. After swimming, we went to Dianne's house for dinner. Everyone played well. When the firecrackers started going off around the neighborhood, Walker said "Cool!" Lauren covered her ears, crawled in my lap and kept saying that the "crappers" scared her. Brady was so tired, he just wanted to find a place to rest his little head. Needless to say, they all passed out when they got home.

Doug is off from summer school now, so the days have been pretty active. We went to the zoo the other day and had fun walking around there. Walker's favorite is the giraffes. Lauren likes the fishies. We have also been swimming as much as possible. Walker is unstoppable in the water. Lauren is cautious, so I don't worry too much about her. Brady is getting pretty daring so I have to keep a good eye on him. Our next adventure is Denver in a week and a half, so we'll see how it all goes!!

Gotta get back to work!!